This morning as I was eating pineapple at the hotel’s free continental breakfast (you can imagine how blessed my heart was), I got thinking how easy it is for me to “pack up and leave”. I don’t really form attachments to places and I adjust to new environments, new situations, new people, pretty well. Now, that sounds like I’m bragging- I promise I am not. There are some pretty embarrassing things that I do not do “pretty well”. Giving directions/ following directions while driving is the first that comes to mind. Ask any friend, family member, acquaintance and they’ll probably have a story for you. I have lived up to the color of my hair pretty well… Anyways, why have I been able to “pack up and leave” so well when for so many people, adjusting to a new environment is an emotionally taxing and scary thing?
Answer no. 1 is featured by my Myers Briggs obsession. I am a “T”- and for those of you who are wondering what that means, it means I am a thinker as opposed to a feeler. I am the one who, in situations bases my actions and thoughts on facts (not a feeling) and will never settle for “everything will be ok”. I think that for me, viewing my surroundings as a thinker allows me to not become emotionally attached to things. I am able to step into a new environment and view what it takes to adjust objectively, seeking full understanding and seeking out answers to my questions. Basically, sometimes I feel unemotional (yah yah, if you’re “unemotional” than you can’t feel, but that is how I feel sometimes so roll with it).
Answer no. 2 is a bit lengthily, but stick with me... I don’t really believe in predestination, but I believe that God puts opportunities in our lives for a reason and it is our job to seize the moment, gain everything we can from it, and know that it will affect our futures in some way. God doesn’t have a road map for my life, I have free will, but I think that everything leading up to this point in my life has prepared me and shaped me into who I am too perfectly to believe that God didn’t have his hand in it.
Most of you know I am from a teeny town in Northern, NY. I am related to 3/4 of the people in the county and I was homeschool for most of my life. With just that knowledge you could safely assume I was pretty sheltered. You would be wrong. My parents took good care of me, but I was far from your average small town country girl. By the time I was 3, I had been to Alaska 3 times. And by the time I was 10, my family had moved 3 times. My dad went cool places all the time and going on planes or sitting in the car for long hours was not foreign in any way. I had seen areas of the country that many of my friends only read about in their geography books. The negative to this was that I formed a presupposition that my family wouldn't stay in one place for more than 4 years. I loved school, I loved friends, but I had gotten pretty used to the idea of places and people being only "temporary". I know that sounds pretty negative and terrible (and I'm not gonna lie, sometimes it was), but for the most part I really loved my life. After the move to Northern, NY when I was 10, we didn't move again. There was once talk of moving to Europe, but nothing ever came of it.
Now that you know all about my childhood, I will attempt to make my point... While I was really good at letting go of things, I learned how to cling on to what I loved with dear life. My family, friends I cared about, my art and music- they were never gone just because we were separated by distance. Relationships are dictated by more than a place or something physical. This mindset is what made dating a guy who lived 4 hours away during our first year together successful. And it's what makes my memories of freshman year tear-less. Now, it's what is making this trip exciting and not scary.
So perhaps now, as I'm beginning my adventure- in a state I have never been, people I have never met, and totally on my own, I am not fearful. I think my childhood of "packing up and leaving" has prepared me for this. Every time God gave my dad the opportunity to take a new job and he took it, it was, in essence, preparing me for this moment.
I'm a pretty reflective person- not really in a sentimental, touchy-feely way (as I mentioned, I am a T), I'm just always thinking and having thoughts. As you can imagine, having these thoughts-over a cup of coffee and paper cup filled with pineapple this morning really did bless my heart.